At the beginning of church service this morning, the music minister brought up how important imagery was in his worship time. Like him, imagery has always played a big role in my worship as well. Not only in my worship, but in the way I learn. Pictures always make it easier! My mind seems to be really good at taking words and putting them into picture form in my head. He had read a passage from psalms describing God our king, sitting on his throne. Irronic for me since when I think "God", a picture of a long haired jewish man in white robes sitting on a big throne is what I picture in my mind.
Later in our worship time at the end of service we were singing a new song that I had never heard before. Part of the chorus was "Oh Christ, be the center of our lives. Be the place we fix our eyes. Be the center of our lives." So keep in mind that for me while I'm singing, pictures are forming out of the words that I'm singing. I'm realizing that as I'm singing these words, as much as I know that those words need to be true in my life, my son's face was what I saw for those words. I, as a mother, spend my entire day taking care of my son and having him be the center of my life.
I was torn inside! I was having an internal struggle! How was I suppose to stand there worshipping my Savior and my King telling Him to be the center of my life, when as a mother I knew that my child was, and probably would stay the center of my life? Once again as I'm praying my concerns to God and struggling to give up the space I had in my heart for my son, a picture of my God showed up in my head. The same long haired Jewish man sitting on his big throne wearing the same white robes, only this time he was holding my son. Camden was sitting there on my God's lap and God was holding him in an embrace. Wow! At that moment tears streamed down my cheeks.
I am always going to be a mother to my son. God is always going to be my God, and He is going to be the center of my life. I don't have to stop being a mother, God is also my son's God. He will always be there for him. I can make my eyes be fixed on Christ and following Him, and He will in turn give me the strength and wisdom to know how to raise my children. It's weird to me still when I have these "ahha" moments, but gosh am I glad!!
Thank you Lord for showing me how much you love, not only me, but my child too! Thank you for showing me that I can put you in the center of my life and I can trust that you will have my child in your hands! Please help me to always keep that picture in my mind when I am going off coarse. I love you Lord and want my life to reflect you.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Monday, December 14, 2009
Reality...
So we just had the first round of flu go through our little family! It started with Camden...poor little man! He was soo sick! After spending two days getting thrown up on, and cleaning up everything that was unfortunate enough to also get christened, I got sick too! Luckily I was only sick for a day, while poor little Camden continued to be sick for his daddy...who also got sick the next day! Whew! It is finally four days later and for the most part we are all over this horrible bug. Today was spent doing load after load of laundry, trying to wash everything that had been used over the past few days, spraying every possible hard surface with Lysol, and cleaning the toilets...what a job!
As I was cleaning and picking up after our epidemic, I started to think about how underappreciated I was for all the work I had just done all weekend while we were all sick! How dare, my husband not even mutter a "Thank you" for anything that I had done for him! After all, I was just as sick as Camden and him, but I had to run all over the house fetching drinks and cleaning up after the two of them! I didn't really get a chance to be lazy while I was sick...how rude!
And then, as I was fuming and pulling the sheets off the bed, I thought about my mom...how many times had I told her "Thank you" for taking care of me when I was sick? Having two brothers and sister, I'm sure there were times that all of us got sick at the same time and probably got my mom sick as well! What a job! Had I ever told her "Thank you"? How RUDE!
All at once it sank in! Aa a mom, I have a very underappreciated job of having to constantly take care of my family, even in times when I may be sick or just sick and tired of caring! But as a mom, do it because I love my family and want the best for them. My mom had taken care of me and shown me how to take care of my precious little baby and husband, and I needed to take her example to heart. My attitude was wrong! I apologized to Jeremy for previously yelling at him, and continued to go about my cleaning with a better attitude.
The day is winding down now, and I feel like I have one more thing to do before it is over...Mom, THANK YOU!! Is there a mom in your life that you need to thank?
As I was cleaning and picking up after our epidemic, I started to think about how underappreciated I was for all the work I had just done all weekend while we were all sick! How dare, my husband not even mutter a "Thank you" for anything that I had done for him! After all, I was just as sick as Camden and him, but I had to run all over the house fetching drinks and cleaning up after the two of them! I didn't really get a chance to be lazy while I was sick...how rude!
And then, as I was fuming and pulling the sheets off the bed, I thought about my mom...how many times had I told her "Thank you" for taking care of me when I was sick? Having two brothers and sister, I'm sure there were times that all of us got sick at the same time and probably got my mom sick as well! What a job! Had I ever told her "Thank you"? How RUDE!
All at once it sank in! Aa a mom, I have a very underappreciated job of having to constantly take care of my family, even in times when I may be sick or just sick and tired of caring! But as a mom, do it because I love my family and want the best for them. My mom had taken care of me and shown me how to take care of my precious little baby and husband, and I needed to take her example to heart. My attitude was wrong! I apologized to Jeremy for previously yelling at him, and continued to go about my cleaning with a better attitude.
The day is winding down now, and I feel like I have one more thing to do before it is over...Mom, THANK YOU!! Is there a mom in your life that you need to thank?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Holiday's...
Ah, yes. The holiday's are approaching once again. The holiday's that bring joy and laughter can also bring bitterness and sorrow for some.
After being married for five years, you would think that Jeremy and I would have the holiday's down to a science...well we don't. There is always question as to which family we will spend each day with. As if the actual day of Thanksgiving or Christmas, are really any different then any other day! Our families equally want to spend the special days together with us, even more now that little Camden has arrived. So Jeremy and I are stuck making decisions that may or may not cause disappointment and hard feelings. We have tried in the past to split each holiday as equally as we can, hoping that everyone would feel they spent sufficiant time with everyone around. I know that we are not the only family that has to deal with this issue. My brother and sister in law also try their best to split time between our family and her family. Not wanting to cause any hard feelings for anyone. What a hassle!
I wrote this not to make anyone in my family upset, but to say that I really appreciate how accommodating everyone in my family is! Each year there are new circumstances with Jeremy and I, mostly having to do with where we live, which make it hard to always have "smooth" holiday's. So, THANK YOU to my family and to Jeremy's family for making the holiday's something that no matter the circumstance we find ourselves in, Jeremy and I can always look forward to spending whatever time we can with our family!!
After being married for five years, you would think that Jeremy and I would have the holiday's down to a science...well we don't. There is always question as to which family we will spend each day with. As if the actual day of Thanksgiving or Christmas, are really any different then any other day! Our families equally want to spend the special days together with us, even more now that little Camden has arrived. So Jeremy and I are stuck making decisions that may or may not cause disappointment and hard feelings. We have tried in the past to split each holiday as equally as we can, hoping that everyone would feel they spent sufficiant time with everyone around. I know that we are not the only family that has to deal with this issue. My brother and sister in law also try their best to split time between our family and her family. Not wanting to cause any hard feelings for anyone. What a hassle!
I wrote this not to make anyone in my family upset, but to say that I really appreciate how accommodating everyone in my family is! Each year there are new circumstances with Jeremy and I, mostly having to do with where we live, which make it hard to always have "smooth" holiday's. So, THANK YOU to my family and to Jeremy's family for making the holiday's something that no matter the circumstance we find ourselves in, Jeremy and I can always look forward to spending whatever time we can with our family!!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Marriage...
Being married is hard! Gosh! I know that I may not have tons of knowledge on the subject, I have only been married for 5 years...but WOW, I have learned so much! Although, lateley it seems that I'm at a loss. There are days when it seems like Jeremy and I are on two totally different pages! It's almost as though we are becoming two different people, on two different paths. We are. God has made us different and I believe that He is still working on changing both of us for His work. So right now, we are just really struggling to have a normal day without arguing. Man! It is just hard work being married right now!
I'm pretty sure this is how marriage is though. Jeremy and I have been through other hard times in our short marriage, and we made it through together as a stronger, closer couple. God will bring us through this as well. The vows that we made to one another over five years ago are still holding us together. Even when it causes us to have to bend and change along with one another...to have and to hold in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, though rich or poor, I promise to love you.
Something that my Grandma and my mom have both told me many times before, that I hold onto in times like this, is, "This too shall pass!"
So I will leave you with that thought today and hopefully those words can encourage you through a tough time you may be going through today! This too shall pass!!
I'm pretty sure this is how marriage is though. Jeremy and I have been through other hard times in our short marriage, and we made it through together as a stronger, closer couple. God will bring us through this as well. The vows that we made to one another over five years ago are still holding us together. Even when it causes us to have to bend and change along with one another...to have and to hold in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, though rich or poor, I promise to love you.
Something that my Grandma and my mom have both told me many times before, that I hold onto in times like this, is, "This too shall pass!"
So I will leave you with that thought today and hopefully those words can encourage you through a tough time you may be going through today! This too shall pass!!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Birthdays...
Gosh! I really love my family. My mother in law, Carolyn, came out this weekend to celebrate Jeremy's birthday. Jeremy and I have been married for over five years and no matter where in the country we have lived, Carolyn is there for Jeremy on his birthday. I think that it is so special! I will admit, I didn't really understand why it was always so important to her in the past to be there, but now that I am a mom it shines new light on it. It's incredible to me that for every one of Jeremy's 26 years she has been there on his birthday! My hope is that I can be there for my son every year on his birthday.
Birthday's where never really a HUGE deal in my family while we were growing up...maybe since there were four of us, so close together, it was probably hard to make every birthday special. My birthday always came right around Easter, so it was always kind of overshadowed by the holiday festivities. The most special part of my birthday every year was, and still is, that my Grandpa's birthday was the same day! It was so fun for me that I got to share my one special day every year with my Grandpa. Since I was born on his birthday, I was even named after him! His name is James. I love you Grandpa!! Thank you for making my birthday so special!!
Birthday's where never really a HUGE deal in my family while we were growing up...maybe since there were four of us, so close together, it was probably hard to make every birthday special. My birthday always came right around Easter, so it was always kind of overshadowed by the holiday festivities. The most special part of my birthday every year was, and still is, that my Grandpa's birthday was the same day! It was so fun for me that I got to share my one special day every year with my Grandpa. Since I was born on his birthday, I was even named after him! His name is James. I love you Grandpa!! Thank you for making my birthday so special!!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Laughter...
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh a time to mourn and a time to dance.
Isn't this great!! I love that God has given us this privelege! Among all the things that can happen under the heavens, I think that it is very cool that laughing is mentioned. Laughing is so much fun!! God wants us to have fun.
Around our house we laugh all the time. Camden is probably one of the funniest little guys I know! He is constantly making funny noises and walking around like a crazy person or smearing his food all over himself. I think that God created us to be funny so that we could have laughter!
Most of the best memories I have growing up are sitting around the dinner table with my sister, two brothers and my parents and just laughing so hard that I would cry! We always find something to laugh about in our family, so I really look forward to spending time with them. It is unique, I think, that we can have so many good times together. Thank you family for being the funniest part of my life!! I love you all!
Does anyone have any funny stories that they want to share? I know someone in my family has to have something to say!
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heaven: a time to weep and a time to laugh a time to mourn and a time to dance.
Isn't this great!! I love that God has given us this privelege! Among all the things that can happen under the heavens, I think that it is very cool that laughing is mentioned. Laughing is so much fun!! God wants us to have fun.
Around our house we laugh all the time. Camden is probably one of the funniest little guys I know! He is constantly making funny noises and walking around like a crazy person or smearing his food all over himself. I think that God created us to be funny so that we could have laughter!
Most of the best memories I have growing up are sitting around the dinner table with my sister, two brothers and my parents and just laughing so hard that I would cry! We always find something to laugh about in our family, so I really look forward to spending time with them. It is unique, I think, that we can have so many good times together. Thank you family for being the funniest part of my life!! I love you all!
Does anyone have any funny stories that they want to share? I know someone in my family has to have something to say!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Marriage...
So apparently I failed to mention in my last post that my husband is also a huge part of my life!! ...Which he was quick to mention to me :-)... Jeremy, my husband is the LOVE of my life! Although I may not see him all day while he is away at work, I love that he is at work enjoying his job and earning money to support his family. He is a GREAT husband and I know that he loves being our provider. Jeremy has grown in the last year to be a wonderful father for Camden too. God created a good fit with the two of us!
Being married takes a lot of time to nurture...I think since having Cam, we are both realizing that we have to schedule the time we spend working on us and our marriage. Our marriage has taken on lots of forms in the past five years...and I guess having a child is just the newest. I know that it will continue to change over the next years to come, and I am looking forward to spending my entire life with Jeremy! But sometimes it is pretty hard to get through the day to day struggles. It would be great to hear how other married women have dealt, or are dealing with their ever changing marriages.
If anyone reading this feels compelled, lets talk...I would love to hear your struggles in marriage and how you have workd through them, or encouragment from your life experiences.
Being married takes a lot of time to nurture...I think since having Cam, we are both realizing that we have to schedule the time we spend working on us and our marriage. Our marriage has taken on lots of forms in the past five years...and I guess having a child is just the newest. I know that it will continue to change over the next years to come, and I am looking forward to spending my entire life with Jeremy! But sometimes it is pretty hard to get through the day to day struggles. It would be great to hear how other married women have dealt, or are dealing with their ever changing marriages.
If anyone reading this feels compelled, lets talk...I would love to hear your struggles in marriage and how you have workd through them, or encouragment from your life experiences.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)